7 Monster Machines That Look Like They Were Designed by a Five-Year-Old


SIKORSKY S-72

Designing construction equipment, planes, trucks, cranes, and other industrial vehicles is a painstaking process, the work of highly educated engineers with detailed plans. Every tiny design element has a purpose, and no possible complications can be overlooked, or the results could be catastrophic.

But at the same time, a lot of these things kind of look like a toddler could have come up with them, right? Allow me to explain.

The Big Robot Bug With a Tail That Eats Trees Real Fast

JOHN DEERE

"So this robot it, like, it has a bunch of legs like a little ant but it's so big that its bigger than mommy's van and when you ride inside it it stomps around on the ground all like BOOM BOOM and crushes rocks and twigs and dirt and stuff! OH and it has like, it has like a giant tail thing that's like a tail but it's like a crane and it has a big yellow thing at the end with a BUNCH BIG SAW AND A CLAW and it can pick up trees right out of the ground and it cuts them up into little pieces so fast that it's so cool but actually kind of a little scary but I still like it and I'm actually not scared of it at all really."

The Big Yellow Bulldozer But With a Giant Saw for Cutting Up the Road and Stuff

VERMEER

"OK, oh man, so this one is like—you know a big bulldozer? It's like a big bulldozer except it doesn't have a pusher part it has a big circle CUTTING SAW! It's like the thing they use to make a pizza into slices but the circle part is so big it's like twice as tall as dad and it has a bunch of BIG SPIKESon it so it can CRRRRRUNCHSMAAAAASH through through the street and the ground and rocks and everything even though its really hard! And it's yellow like a bulldozer and it's real loud and super awesome."

The Tank With the Plane Parts On Top So It Can Blow Out All the Fires

GETTY IMAGESCHIP HIRES

"This one is like a big tank with the long tank wheel things but instead of a big gun it has like a big—no TWO blowers like on a plane that push the plane but it doesn't fly it just points the blowers at a big fire and PFFFFFFFTTTT and it just blows them right out like a birthday cake. Oh but and then also it has hoses too and it spits on the fire while it blows on the fire but it's not gross because it's not really spit and there's no cake just a big fire like the one we had in the backyard in the summer but like A HUNDRED TIMES BIGGER!!"